-Dad, I’m not going to eat honey, it’s a secretion of flowers’ genitals.
-Son, overall you yourself are a secretion of genitals.

Captain of a ship shares his recollections:
-The scariest thing that’s ever happened to me was when our boat got caught in a storm. But that’s not the scariest thing about it. The scariest thing, was that at that time we were transporting dolls. When the ship would lean on its side, they all simultaneously opened their eyes wide and loudly pronounced together: “M-ammma-a-a-a!!!!!!”

-Well, congratulations!!! A new life is born inside of you!!!!
-Doctor… but I’m a man!!!!!
-Yes?? Well, intestinal worms really couldn’t care less…

Scientists have established, that beer contains a large number of female hormones. So after 3 beers one begins to have trouble driving. After 6 jugs you will start laughing at any nonsense you hear. And after 9 beers you can only piss in a sitting position.

A bartender tells to his acquaintance:
-What grief! Yesterday one of our regular customers died. A wonderful person. Every day he drank no less than 30 (!) jugs of beer and no less than 2 liters of vodka.
-And why did he die?
-I have no idea.
Pic: alcoholic